Out Of The Frye-ing Pan... (Part 1)

 Exhibit A:  A trio of wanna-be poison dart frogs from the Circus Of The Sun...Ok, ok, Cirque du Soleil, frogs and French belong together anyway.  Superior flexibility, excellent technique...honestly, I don't know what I'm talking about and I'm sure the performers would pick 6 different things they failed to execute in this routine.  That's neither here nor there...MOVING ON!





Exhibit B(engal): An abbreviated shot-by-shot slide of Jerome Simpson's TD that has the nation flipping out.


1) In the far left, we see that Simpson has already called attention to his ability to be the next Peter Pan..."Second star to the right and straight on til morning."  He might also win a few Olympic medals in London with the tuck dive form he demonstrates at the apex of this leap.

2) At this point (second from the left), we begin to see shades of Kerri Strug, Paul Hamm, and basically any notable American gymnast name you care to spout off without looking it up (go ahead...impress me/embarass yourself).  The shoulder pad of our victim, Daryl Washington, now functions as the perfect springboard to six points.

3) Frames 3 and 4 demonstrate spectacular command of the body, and an uncanny ability to gauge how much rotation is needed to stick the landing.  Athletic intuition, if you will.  You know this guy does flips and handstands just for kicks.

4) Final frame shows the hand touching down for a bit of balance as Simpson sticks the landing and gave himself a 9!  Talk about high expectations...so believe it...this cat has tried this stunt before in full pads, and was disappointed with the result.  He's lucky he's alive given that he had premeditated the flip.  Any diversion in his course could've resulted in a spine slam that wouldn't have felt too cozy.  In regard to that mentality, this man is absolutely a stuntman, but given that the only prop was a football and another human being (not to mention the comfort of full body protection), I currently see Simpson as a combat extra in the Twilight finale.

I know, I know, a bit harsh, but you'd be surprised by the nuances of these legendary "tough guys".  I'll never forget reading in SI that the man best known for swallowing grown quarterbacks whole, Reggie White, had a paralyzing fear of sharks! The guy could probably choke one out if he so desired, and he spent most of his career in Green Bay, Wisconsin! There's a lot of real estate between Cheeseland and the nearest body of salt water.  So, I suppose the next question would be whether Jerome could handle whipping cars around exploding buildings and other fast-moving vehicles, but the reality of the matter is he's perfect for choreographed stunt work and has a potential career in the circus...beyond that, I wouldn't put too much stock in it...Unless he's into scientology...